I agonized for weeks on what I was going to say, how I was going to say it. Worried that I was going to say the wrong thing,not enough or too much.
Then the night before I decided I was going to take some photos with me and show these photos as I was testifying before legislature.
Now I’m doing the same thing as I get ready to start doing public speaking.
Every time I think of myself in front of an audience – my heart starts to beat … almost uncontrollably.
Worried that I won’t say the right words-
Worried that I won’t leave the right impression-
Worried that I won’t make them understand how vitally important it is for them ( the public ) to talk to their families about the dangers of traffickers being all around us.
How it – it happens 136 times an hour‼️
I was an adult when it happened to me,
these people are master manipulators.
By the time I met my trafficker he had 50+ years to perfect his technique. I was truly no match for him even as an adult.
In my fragile state after my car accident suffering a brain injury and soon after heart failure, these master manipulators find your vulnerabilities and they use them against you. I worry about making sure I leave just that education with each and every member of the audience by the time I’m done telling my story. I still can’t believe it happened to me …
It’ll be something I will have to live with the rest of my life and the aftermath.
I hope I find it within myself to say the right words.
I don’t have to be the loudest voice – I just want to be an effective voice.
I often wonder about Hell House …
Is it still happening? Is he hurting someone else? I get that same sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What makes me think that he isn’t hurting someone else.
I can’t forget the night as I was with a friend, whom I stayed with temporarily after my escape-
she introduced me to someone she knew. She mentioned to him the name of my trafficker – the look on his face was one of shock, shock because he said he was surprised that I was still alive …
I recall feeling ashamed as it hadn’t been but less than 3 months at this point, since my escape from my trafficker, and I was still confused and scared.
I don’t know IF he is trafficking anyone today, but I will never put it past him to do it again. As far as him abusing another woman, it’s what he lives for. He lives for nothing else.